Kaddish, Hollywood, and the Spanish Inquisition

The poor Yarmulke was clearly out of its element on the young man’s long curly hair. Its precarious perch, and the several times that it nearly fell off, were as clear an indication of this fellows comfort in the Orthodox shul as were his several prominent piercings. I sat behind him, wondering what brought this sandal-clad Jew with only one of his shirt buttons closed into our shul. When he rose to say Kaddish, however, the mystery was solved. I spoke to him after services to welcome him, and discovered that his mother had died as a young woman, and that he made an appearance every year to honor her memory in the way that meant the most to him.

 

After a parent dies, a son is obligated to say Kaddish for one year. Kaddish is prayer declaring the greatness of God, and praying that the world recognize it. There are so many who have been brought back to Torah observance through Kaddish – people whose lives have taken paths not boasting a Shul, have had to make their  respective ways to one after feeling loss.

 

It is amazing what trial and loss can awaken in man. Contented and secure, so many of us often do not realize the necessity to reach out to G-d, and connect with Him in any meaningful way. But those very same people who find happiness outside the shul somehow cannot find a method of dealing with loss there. The mysteries of life are awakened when one is having a hard time. Those who are happy generally continue doing what makes them happy, while those beset with misery look for change. They explore, and seek change.

 

It is a tragedy of the Jewish experience throughout history that we have not managed well in prosperity. We managed to remain faithful to our Divine mission through pogrom and blood libel, but when it came to prosperity, we have somehow fallen short. Rabbi Yosef Yaavetz, one of the great Torah giants who witnessed the expulsion of the Jews from Spain observed in his work Or Hachaim (p. 8) that those who retained their rock-like faith in the face of the persecution of the Inquisition, willing to lose everything including their lives for the noble mission of the Jewish people, were the simple, uncultured, unlearned Jews, who did not occupy places in society. Those who had begun assimilating, even while following the Torah, were the first to abandon the Torah when things got tough, for they were already to far gone. It was not just the Inquisition that was pulling them to abandon their role in G-d’s plan – now their positions, estates, and lifestyles beckoned to them. Those who didn’t have it that good, had nothing pulling them from God other than murderous devils. And they retained their faith.

 

It is such a shame that we often maintain our relationship with G-d and truth out of lack. It is out of pain, and a sense of emptiness that we seek G-d initially. Must we always lack? Once we are fulfilled – can we then engage in the relationship with the same gusto? The Hollywood model of relationship – where with few exceptions, no relationship lasts beyond a year is a good example of this dynamic. People who are empty and looking for someone to win over, thus giving them the accomplishment of “having dated” so and so, will quickly tire of the actual relationship – for a lot of what they were looking for, and finding fulfillment in was the challenge of the dating game. They don’t know what to do with one another once they are committed. If neither one is playing hard to get, then they begin looking elsewhere.  While we must beware the dangers of oversimplifying the nature of relationships, we still must know, that the real relationship only begins truly when it is no longer simply about getting the relationship, but about building it.

 

King David called to God often. In good times, “As I raise the Cup of Salvation, I call to G-d” (Psalms 116:13), and in hard times, “I have found trouble and pain. So I call to G-d.” (ibid 116:3-4) It has been said by great Rabbis that we must not only sing to G-d in good times, but also in the harder ones as David did. But this young man coming to say Kaddish in his time of pain taught me that it can be much harder to call to G-d in good times than in bad. To teach ourselves to recognize that it is G-d who is running the show when we are successful and happy, and to pray with the same fire then, is the beginning of relating to G-d from within our relationship with him. Then, should the time come, G-d forbid, that one will have to recite the Kaddish, he will not be calling to G-d to search for Him, but rather to pick up the conversation where they left off during the good times. After all, it is all the same conversation.

Mystics, Rationalists, and Fringes on Clothes

(the following is based upon chapter 4 of the sefer “Hamitzvos HaSehkulos” of the saintly Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe z”l)

Mystics dress in white gowns and burn incense. We rationalists wear business suits, and designer shirts and ties. But why is it that some of us can be so confused by, and indifferent to, talk about demons, angels, and heaven?

There are seven commandments that are considered by our sages to be as important as the entirety of the Torah. One of them is “tzitzis.” Tzitzis are the fringes that a male Jew is obligated to affix to his four cornered garment, should he choose to wear one. Although most clothing is no longer made with four corners, Torah observant Jews wear special undershirts of four corners colloquially called “tzitzis,” so as not to miss the grand opportunity to perform this mitzvah.

But what is behind this mitzvah? Why is it worthy of being dubbed as valuable as the entire Torah?

Tosafos (Menachos 43b) tells us that these strings are similar to a brand that a slave wears informing the world that he is enslaved to his master alone. The Midrash (Numbers Rab. 17:6) however paints a very different sounding picture of this mitzvah. “A parable – A man has fallen overboard at sea, and is in grave danger! The captain extends him a line and tells him, grab a hold, don’t let go, for letting go of this line is forfeiting your very life. “Grab onto my commandments,” says G-d; “letting go of them is forfeiting your very life.”

A glorious picture! Our tzitzis are our very lives, connecting us to G-d, our captain who is waiting for us to join him on the deck, and be saved from the turbulence of life’s raging tempests. He beseeches mankind to simply embrace Torah values and he will then pull his end of the cord. Man wearing his tzitzis is showing that he is just a tug away from an audience with the divine presence. How very different from the Tosafos’ image of the torah adherent as a branded slave is this Midrash!

Man is a composite of spirit and earth. He is caught in a tug of war between his earthly impulses and his spiritual aspirations. There are two parts to his job on this earth. He must firstly learn not to be beholden to the calls of his animalistic physical side, and he must also learn to attach to the spiritual. Man must brand himself and show that he is not enslaved to the physical but rather answers to a much higher calling. He must then also begin to grasp at and hold onto the line extended to him from the Master of the universe who is beckoning to him, and inviting him to take his rightful place on the deck of the ship.

There are two genres in classic Jewish scholarship in explaining the meaning of mitzvot. Sefer Hachinuch explains the more basic and rational reasons for the commandments. This explains the branding of the person, how the mitzvot ensure that he simply not drown in the ocean of the physical world. Others, such as Ridvaz, (in his Metzudas Dovid) explain the more mystical significances of the commandments. This provides explanations as to how the mitzvot then attach man to his Maker and bring him up onto the deck of the ship.

Rationalism and mysticism are both accurate and true. The rationalist explains how the mitzvot affect the physical world, and why they elevate a man above it. The mystic explains how it is that the mitzvot bring one into a spiritual world, and teach us “spiritual physics,” explaining how those mitzvot bring us close to G-d. Every Jew is both a mystic and a rationalist. He lives an existence of the tangible intermingled with the spirit. Those who wear tzitzis have access, on their very person to a message that encompasses the entire mission of man in this world. There is mysticism in the rational, and rationalism in the mystical. This is the secret of tzitzis.

The Frog and the Scorpion

a quick thought on Yom Kippur


The frog could not sting, and the scorpion could not swim. So the frog took the scorpion on its back, at great personal sacrifice. After all, the scorpion could bite the frog at any moment. They crossed the river where the scorpion proceeded to fatally bite the man whom Hashem had condemned to death. (Nedarim 41a)

When King David completed the book of Psalms; the greatest song that any man has written to G-d, he began feeling very good about himself. He wondered to G-d, "Is there any creature that sings to You as beautifully as I do?" A frog appeared and told him, don't be too proud of yourself David, I sing a much greater song that you. And that is not all – there is a species that lives near the sea – and when it is hungry it takes mean and eats me. (Perek Shira)

What possessed Chanania Mishael and Azariah to throw themselves into the fiery furnace? They reasoned: If the frogs [during the plague of Frogs in Egypt] threw themselves into fiery furnaces despite the fact that they are not obligated to do so – we who have been commanded to give our lives for Kiddush Hashem must certainly do so! (Pesachim 53b)

The Frog sings, "Baruch Shem Kivod Malchuso Liolam Vaed," "Blessed is the name of His glorious kingdom for all eternity." (Perek Shira)

When Moshe went up to heaven, he heard the Angels reciting "Baruch Shem Kivod Malchuso Liolam Vaed," and taught it to the Jews, but we must say it quietly because it is angelic. On Yom Kippur when the Jew is nearly an angel, he can then recite it aloud. (Yalkut Shimoni D'varim 834)

The frog recites a song that even man cannot sing. David was shown an aspect of the frog that even man can often fall short of. What can this be? The world is a symphony. It is meant to consist of components all working harmoniously toward the ultimate goal of kvod shomayim. Every being is really no more than an ingredient in the grand scheme of G-d's will. The frog in Egypt gave his life for G-d's plan. The frog gives his life in the natural world to the animal that needs to eat him for survival. He transports scorpions on his back when G-d needs them to cross rivers.

The ultimate song is when one can find his place in the world, and live in perfect harmony, so that he knows how to give himself completely to the greater song of Hashem's plan. Sound, silence, and impeccable timing are vital for an orchestra to sound perfect. The frog is that animal that symbolizes that all is really here for nothing other than kvod shomayim. It is an animal that forgoes its immediate survival instinct and answers to a higher instinct.

The frog says "Baruch Shem Kivod Malchuso Liolam Vaed," which we cannot even say aloud. But the frog screams it out!

The frog was saying to David – "my entire existence is dedicated to the fulfillment of Hashem's will, even if it means complete self sacrifice. You were also created to be nothing more than a tool for kvod shomayim. Are you there yet?"

On Yom Kippur, when the Jewish people call out "Baruch Shem Kvod..." in booming voices, we are witnessing the elite of the human race striving to be nothing more than a "frog."

This World is like the Night-time

And more thoughts on Rosh Hashanah



“This world is like the nighttime.”
Babylonian Talmud Avoda Zarah 3b

“In the evening one lays down with tears, but in the morning – a cry of joy!”
Psalms 30:6

“Some ‘darkness’ is not darkness at all, but is in fact a light so brilliant that it afflicts man with blindness!”
Vilna Gaon (Siddur, Yotzer Hameoros)[i]


The Jew must keep the Sabbath meticulously. There are 39 main categories of creative activities that the Jew must “rest” from on the Sabbath, as well as many, many sub-categories. If a Jew violates the sanctity of Sabbath any time from Friday night through Saturday night, he is put to death. But with gentiles, this is not so. Not only is a gentile not obligated to keep the Sabbath; shockingly, the Talmud declares that if a gentile does keep the Sabbath, he is to be put to death![ii] He was not truly put to death. The gentile would simply be beaten, and punished, and informed that he ought to have been killed.[iii] A gentile who chooses any day of the week, starting in the morning and culminating the next morning to refrain from work in interest of a Sabbath, has forfeited his right to live! [iv]

There are several peculiarities that must now be investigated. The first question is; why on earth should this be? Is it so horrible to keep a Sabbath when you are not meant to? We find no such penalty for a gentile who chooses to dwell in a Sukkah, don Tefillin, or hear the blast of a Shofar. Another glaring question is; for a Jew the Sabbath begins at nightfall and ends at nightfall. For a gentile, observance of such a Sabbath is not considered a Sabbath, rather he is held responsible only if he keeps 24 hours beginning in the morning and culminating the next morning. Why?

A gentile is meant to recognize reality. He is obligated to live by the Seven Noachide laws – the basic moral obligations God gave to mankind. The gentile is to recognize God, but he need not necessarily become a member of the chosen people. A gentile who keeps the Noachide laws has led a moral life and will merit a place in the world to come.[v] There are several other laws aside from these seven, enumerated in the Talmud. A gentile may not study the Torah, for example.[vi] The Sabbath is “a sign” between the Lord and His people.[vii] Only the Jew is to keep the Sabbath.

[If a man wishes to take his wife to dinner on the night of their anniversary, the table should only be set for two. And should an extremely close and loyal friend wish to dine with them, that friend has made it clear that he truly does not understand the nature of this rendezvous.]

A gentile is expected to understand the purpose of the universe, and to know his place therein. Should he entirely misunderstand the place of the Jew in the world, he has lost his right to live and must be chastised back into his right mind.

We are still bothered by why a gentile begins his day in the daytime and not at night. Let us backtrack a bit. Our sages teach, “Abraham establish the morning prayers, Isaac the afternoon prayers, and Jacob the evening prayers.”[viii] Now the Talmud teaches that the Jewish day begins at night, as it says in Genesis[ix], “And it was evening and it was morning.” First came nighttime; the day followed.[x] If this is so, should Abraham not have begun with the first prayer of the day - the Evening prayer - which is the first prayer after nightfall? Why did he begin with the second in the sequence of prayers?

The Sefer HaMikneh[xi] teaches an interesting thing. He proves that at Sinai there was a major change in the calendar. Whereas until Sinai, the days were calculated with night following the day; after Sinai, the Jews began counting the night first with the day following the night. Abraham, who lived prior to Sinai, began his days in the mornings, and thus established the morning prayer, as it was the first in the sequence at that time. For gentiles, who were not party to the Sinai experience, the day still begins in the morning, and the night follows. There is a relatively simple reason for all this. The Talmud teaches that the reason that the darker animals walk first amongst the flock, is that darkness always precedes light. The Jew looks forward to better times, when “God will rule the whole world,”[xii] and he prepares for the world to come. He knows that the darkness and bad times experienced in this world are but a prelude to great things to come. The secular, Epicurean outlook, “eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die” is essentially one that sees this world as the daytime. “This is the daytime, and all we have to look forward to is the grave,” is a falsehood - and the Torah is here to correct it. Thus when the torah was given, its guardians were then on the level to live a life where night precedes day. But the gentiles who did not learn this message still relate to this world in the wrong way. As the Vilna Gaon explains, when it comes to the idea – in concept - light precedes darkness, but in actuality, darkness precedes light. Jacob is conceived before Esau, but Esau is born first. Esau inherits this world, and Jacob the next world.
But when did this all change? The Talmud makes it clear that in the creation of the world, darkness preceded light.[xiii] So when was this massive change to “night following day,” which was only corrected at Sinai? The Talmud teaches that the nations of the world heard loud sounds at the time of the Sinai experience and approached the prophet Bilaam to find out what was going on. They asked him, “Has God returned to the flood?”[xiv] and he replied, “God is establishing himself as eternal king, God is giving strength to his nation,” to which they replied, “may God bless his nation with peace.”[xv]

What is the connection between the flood and Sinai? “Day and night shall not cease,” [xvi]was God’s vow after the great flood. But the Talmud reads more into these words. Day and night will not “yishbosu,” which is the root of the word Sabbath. “For a day and a night, they may not rest,” is an alternative translation of these words, and it is from here that the Talmud derives that a gentile may not celebrate the Sabbath. The scriptural source that night follows day for a gentile’s observance of the Sabbath, is found just after the great flood. After the flood, mankind was on a distinctly lover level than he had been prior to it. Life spans were greatly reduced. A world that once boasted permanently delightful spring-like weather was suddenly introduced to harsh winters, and stifling summers.[xvii] Humans had been capable of destroying the universe, and were likewise capable of building it. But humanity abused its great power, and was taken down a notch. They would never destroy another world, but they could not build one either. A humanity on such a drastically lower level could not truly comprehend the worlds ultimate goal. They could not live on a level where night preceded day. To them, day was primary. But at Sinai, the Jewish nation was given the keys to build the world, and with them, the ability to destroy it! They were back to pre-flood status. They now related to the world as it was created; the night precedes the day.

[There is another great connection between the flood and the generation that accepted the torah. Our sages teach[xviii] that God originally intended to give the Torah to the generation that was wiped out in the flood, if only they had merited it. In fact, the Arizal teaches that the generation of the flood and the generation of the torah giving had the same souls. They were reincarnated. Noah and Moses were one and the same! Moses was name “Moses” because he was “saved from the water” - the water of the flood! Noah had an ark that kept him afloat in the water, and Moses had a small basket which served the same purpose for him. Both are called a “Tevah” by the torah. The flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights, as did Moses’ stay on Sinai where he was showered with Torah, and “water always hints to torah.” The Talmud shows how Moses was hinted to in the torah in the verse where Noah is told that the flood will begin in 120 years. Noah’s major mistake was that he did not expend enough energy in attempt to save his generation. Thus, the flood is referred to as “Mei Noach,” “the waters of Noah.” Moses corrected this when he told God that should He destroy the Jews, “Macheini na misifricha - Erase me from your book.” The word “Macheini” is made up of the same letters that spell “Mei noach.” Moses corrected the mistake that he made the first time around. This time he was willing to sacrifice it all to save his generation. This generation was incredibly powerful. Led by Noah/Moses, they could have either built or destroyed the world. At Sinai, they complained when they were forbidden illicit sexual behavior,[xix] which they had engaged in during the times of the flood. They constantly fought with Moses about water all thorough their excursion in the desert. This powerful generation was the one who first brought the world to a state where it would see day as preceding night. But on their second time around, they successfully reversed their goof-up. For a Jew, darkness precedes light.]

The Vilna Gaon writes, “In all worldly things, husks precede their fruit, as with Jacob and Esau – Esau emerged first, though Jacob was the first child conceived. For Esau’s portion is this world, while Jacobs is the next world. Jacob was thus conceived first because the final result is the first thought, and the result is the world to come.[xx] When one has a goal in mind, he first envisions the goal – the results – and only then develops a scheme to reach these ends. The goal is the world to come, so it is “conceived” first. But the means are created first in practice, for they must precede the ends. Elsewhere, the Vilna Gaon explains,[xxi] “Whenever our sages speak of something ‘originally being conceived in the mind’ of God, this is the ultimate goal.” We are taught that, “originally God conceived the idea of creating the world in strict justice, but when he saw that it would not survive, he mixed mercy with that justice.”[xxii] We are similarly taught that “God created the world and it collapsed again and again until he created repentance.” [xxiii]We are taught that ““originally God conceived the idea of creating the world in the month of Tishrei, but it was not actually created until the month of Nissan.”[xxiv] Tishrei is the month of Moznaiim, Libra. Scales. It is the month of justice. The Yom Hadin, the “day of judgment” is Rosh Hashanah, the first of Tishrei upon which we proclaim, “Hayom Haras Olam,” “today is the conception of the world.” Originally, God wished to create the world in strict justice, for the ultimate goal is a world of justice. But the means to get to such a world required a more merciful relationship. The perfect conception of the world is in “din – strict judgment” as indeed the world will be in messianic times.[xxv] The day that God decides to take stock of his world, and measure its state against its ultimate goal is that very day when he first conceived of the goal, this first day of Tishrei.

[“Now that we know that symbols are meaningful, a person ought to eat pumpkins, clover, leeks, beets, and dates on Rosh Hashanah,” says Abaye in the Talmud.[xxvi] We have all heard of dipping an apple in honey to give us a sweet new year. It sounds like a nice tradition, but there are interestingly no other holidays in the Jewish calendar with such symbols. Eat a head to avoid being a tail. Eat carrots to annul harsh decrees. Symbols on Rosh Hashanah of all days…why? The world was conceived in the month of Tishrei. Tosafos teaches that God conceived of the idea to create the world on Rosh Hashana, but he did not actually create it until the month of Nissan, six months later. Thus we say on Rosh Hashana, Hayom Haras Olam, today the world was concived – not born. There were ten statements made by God in the creation of the world.[xxvii] Nine of them begin with the words, “and God said,” except for the first one. “In the beginning God created heaven and earth.” The Talmud teaches that this was a statement as well. The Chasidic masters read more into this verse. God created the world with language; but with what did he create language. “BiReshis,” using wisdom, (Reshis means intelligence)[xxviii] God created “Es,” which is the first and last letter of the alphabet. Using pure thought and intelligence, God created the alphabet – language. Using language God then created all else in existence. On the first of Tishrei, when God “conceived the idea of the world,” the he did not create for another six months, we celebrate the anniversary of God communicating in a way far beyond language. A purer level of communication that is above language, was used by God on this day. Could there be a day in the Jewish calendar more appropriate for us to attempt to communicate super-verbally, though the use of symbols?][xxix]

Ultimately the ends will explain the means. The ravages of this world will fade in the morning sunshine of the coming world. Rosh Hashanah is a glimpse into the goal of it all. It is a time when we can be aware that God has a grand master plan for our universe. The beginning of the relationship was one of pure thought. Pure goal.

[Jacob gave Rachel “Simanim,” “signs”[xxx] the same word used for the super-verbal symbols that we use on Rosh Hashanah. It is commonly assumed that these signs were simply for the purpose of Jacob being capable of ascertaining the identity of his intended should Lavan choose to replace her with her sister. Yet when Rachel realized the horrific embarrassment that her sister Leah would suffer should she not have the “simanim,” she gave them over to her, and thus Jacob was confused as to whom he was marrying. Yet, asks the Revid Hazahav,[xxxi] the Talmud teaches that voices are distinguishable. Why was Jacob unable to recognize that this was not Rachel!? He explains that the Talmud’s rule that voices are recognizable is only true when there is no reason for one to suspect otherwise. If one receives a phone call from a woman claiming to be his mother, and she sounds nothing like her, he will certainly be suspicious, but should his “mother” tell him information that proves to him that it is her, he will assume that he has made a mistake and that it is indeed his mother. Because Leah had the “simanim,” Jacob was certain that it was Rachel! The “simanim,” which were only created to avoid confusion are the only reason that Jacob did not discover the fraudulent identity of his bride. They messed it all up! Has he not used any “simanim” at all, he would have had no problems! Why did he make them at all, and not simply rely on voice recognition? But Jacob did not make these simanim simply to discern the identity of his bride. There was much more to it. When God began his relationship with humanity, he used simanim.” And so did Jacob, our father.]

This world is a place of darkness, where we eagerly prepare for the world to come. We must never give up - as bleak as things may look. However long the night may last, the morning is always coming. For a Jew, the day follows the night.



[i] See “Maamarei Pachad Yitzchok” Sukkos: Maamar 9, where Rav Hutner elaborates. He explains that this is why the period between day and night is known as “bein hashmashos,” literally, “between suns.” There was a light originally in the sun that was hidden away for the righteous to eventually use in the world to come. The stars contain traces of this light, as they were substitutes for the sun. This entire discussion, says Rav Hutner, sheds further light on the Talmudic expression for the blind person, “Sagi Nahor,” “[one with] abundant light,” usually taken as a euphemism.
[ii] Sanhedrin 58b
[iii] Maimonides Melachim 10:9
[iv] Sefer HaMikneh Kiddushin 37b, See Chasam Sofer (quoting Sefer HaMikneh) to Shabbos 87a. See Panim Yafos Al Hatorah Genesis 8:22, and Shut Rabbi Akiva Eger 123 Hashmata.
[v] Maimonides Melachim 8:11
[vi] Sanhedrin 59a
[vii] Exodus 31:13
[viii] Brachos 26b
[ix] Genesis 1:5
[x] See Chullin 83 a
[xi] Kiddushin 37b, see note [iv] above
[xii] Zecharia 14:9
[xiii] Shabbos 77b except for a minority opinion of rashbam, that is the literal translation of the pesukim.
[xiv] Psalms 29:10
[xv] Zevachim 116a
[xvi] Genesis 8:22
[xvii] Bereshis Rabbah 34:11 “The weather was pleasant, as it is between Passover and Shavuos.” Sforno explains that the suns course was unlike today, but rather much closer to the earth, and physical life was much more like it would be in the messianic era. See Or Gedalyahu Noach, 2.
[xviii] Zohar 3:216b, Shmos Rabbah 30
[xix] Rashi Numbers 11:10 s.v Bocheh, quoting Sifri. Chida in Midbar Kedamos Dalet, 3, that because the Jews in the desert were children of illicit relationships, they could not enter the land of Israel!
[xx] Perush HaGra Limigilas Esther Al Derech Haremez 1;1
[xxi] Commentary to Proverbs 9:10
[xxii] Rashi Genesis 1:1
[xxiii] Pirkei D’rabbi Eliezer Chapter 3
[xxiv] Tosafos to Rosh Hashanah 27a
[xxv] In the messianic times, we will follow the rulings of Shammai. This is often quoted in the name of the Arizal, as in Bnei Yissaschar gloss to Dvash Lifi, “Divrei Elokim chaim.” Herczeg in “Patterns in Rashi,” says that while this idea is commonly attributed to the Arizal, it’s earliest known source appears to be Sefer Vayakhel Moshe of Rabbi Moshe Prager. Tzidkas Hatzadik 169, explains that Yitzchak will be head in messianic times for it is a time of strict Din, and explains Rosh Hashanah in this light.
[xxvi] Kreisos 6b
[xxvii] Avos 5:1
[xxviii] Targum Yesushalmi to Bereshis 1:1
[xxix] Bnei Yissaschar Tishrei 2:10
[xxx] As to the nature of these simanim, see Chida in Midbar Kedemos Zayin 12, and elsewhere, quoting his grandfather Rabbi Avraham Azulai (Chesed Lavraham mayan sheni nahar 61) that Rachel was to touch his right thumb right, right big toe, and right ear, as is found in the temple service. Sefer HaChaim (part 1, chapter 2) explains that the simanim were “secrets of the oral torah, specifically the hidden meanings of the fantastic aggados.” The connection between the Rosh Hashanah and Jacob/Rachel Simanim is made by a cryptic passage in Bnei Yissaschar Tishrei 2:11 in which he mysteriously asserts that “Simanim should be done only on the first of the two days of Rosh Hashanah for the 1st day corresponds to Leah and the 2nd to Rachel, and Rachel gave her Simanim to Leah. Apparently these simanim are of the same essence.
[xxxi] Quoted in Torah Temimah Parshas Veyetze

Tefillin are Amazing Things!

As the Jewish people stood at mount Sinai and Moses descended holding two tablets, he also brought back with him 40 days of information. God chooses not to reveal himself to the world all the time. Sometimes, difficult things that seem terrible will happen and it will seem as thought God is not there. This lets us have such things as faith, and belief -virtues that would be impossible if we always saw God. But there was a time when God revealed himself to the world. He stepped into the land of Egypt and took out an opressed group of slaves, led them to mount Sinai, and revealed himself to them. He taught them the truth - that the is a Creator, and told them that it was their mission to teach the world about it. All of the civilized world accepts the Ten Commandments, for God revealed those to mankind. There was a total of 613 principles or ideas that God gave the Jewish people to make the world around them a better place. Those are called mitzvahs. Some teach us to be kind (charity, helping the oppressed) some teach us self control (kosher, do not steal) some teach us to be noble (save the life of the dying person.) Since God knows more about people than even the greatest psychologist, sometimes we must do what he says even if we don't really see how that mitzvah will help us.

Therefore, the very first thing that we must know is that somehow, and in some way ,the tefillin makes the Jewish man wearing them a better Jewish man, and makes the whole world around him a better world. Even if we didnt know any reason for it - we should do it - after all, how many of us know how Penicillin works, but we take it and it makes us better! There are many levels of depth and beauty to tefillin - i will try to explain two of them.

1) Tefillin wrapped on the arm and the head. We all have two parts to ourselves. We have our intelligence, and we have of physical bodies. A person who is trying to go on a diet sees the struggle between these two parts clearly. He sees a chocolate bar that he knows is unhealthy for him, and he decided that he had better not eat it. But someone he feels as though he wants it! His mind certainly does not want it. He will feel nothing but guilt should he eat it. And yet most of the time, diets fail. The body wins. This is true when a spouse cheats on the other spouse more often than not. The mind was saying "no" and the boys could not resist the temptation.

There are two parts to being a good person, and a good Jew. The first part it knowing right from wrong. If a person does not even know that his cholesterol is through the roof, he will not even know to lay off of the cheese doodles and Haagen-Dasz! Even after he knows this, however, he must still work to control himself, and teach his body to behave as his mind has decided. Life is about these two challenges. THe society that does not know that Murder is bad (like Jihad, or gladiator fights) is highly imperfect. But even a person whose mind does know still has much work left to do. Other religions say "Just believe in Jesus. Your faith will set you free." They do not stress Mitzvahs, for they think that only the mind counts. Other cult-ish religions stress only the actions, and tell you "stop thinking, listen only to the leader, and do what he says" Judaism tells us that we must tie down both our mind and our behavior to the Truth, to God. Our mind, and our body must be instruments of truth. If we have to choose between right and wrong, we should KNOW what is right and wrong, and the ACT accordingly. This is the measure of a great person. Tefillin are boxes with words of Truth, from the Torah inside, that speak of why were are here in this world. It tells about the Jew, his one God, his great mission in this world. Every morning, the Jew ties down his arm and head, (gently!) and says to himself, his God, and his world, "i will use my mental power and physical power toward noble goals - to make this world a better place." (on ancient times, people wore tefillin for the entire day - until the sun set! But this is almost unheard of anymore, although some great rabbis and others still do. The rest of us put them on for prayers once a day.)

2) There is another layer of meaning to tefillin too.. God is not physical. Just like you cannot ask someone to "Point to 'Love', what size is it what shape is it?" because love does not occupy a space, or have shape, the same is true for God. He is everywhere but he is not a body, or shape. Any yet, the Great Rabbi of 2000 years ago, recorded in the Talmud, tell us that "God also wears tefillin!" What does it say inside them? The talmud tells us that God's tefillin say "Who is like the Jewish people, a unique people on the earth." God has no body to put tefillin on. This is surely a story that is not meant to be taken as a description of what God wears. Here is the idea represented in tefillin. A young girl and boy fall in love, but he must go out to war. Before they depart, he gives her a locket - a little necklace with his picture on it, and she gives one to him. when they are separated, they each can look into that locket, and remember what they love above all. What the Jew loves above all is truth, Torah, and God. He has given his life throughout history rather than be forced to give up his Judiasm. The tefillin are the locket that a Jewish person wears that connect him to the one he loves, but is separate from - God. God loves us so much - we feel that when we wear tefillin. And God does not let us away from his heart for even a moment. It is almost as if "he is wearing tefillin." Not literally of course, but certainly true. There is no other nation in the world, in recorded history that has sacrificed everything again and again simply in order to remain true and good. From passover, to the Chanukah story, we have never given up our belief in one God who loves and cares no matter what anyone has tried to do to us. And they have tried it all. And yet, although the Jewish people have never done too much advertising, or PR, every single place that we have lived, the people have begun believing in one God. (Both Islam and Christianity got that part right) Everywhere that we did not live, those people are still bowing down to cows, and worshiping rivers. We are privileged to be of the people who are devoted Totally to God, and Truth. Our grandparents, and their grandparents stood for nothing more that doing everything that they could to be "God's people," of truth and love and honesty. And when they looked down at their tefillin, they knew that God had not forgotten them - just as the man at war knew when he felt the locket of his beloved fiance.

Rabbi Harold Schuster - The Story of a great man

We could not have been more surprised when Rabbi Harold Schuster got up to speak for the very first time. It was mussar seder in Yeshiva and we were told that a Rav who had lived in Waterbury for many years would be speaking to us. Apparently he has learnt under Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer we were told but we did not know much more about him. It was the first year of Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel, and Waterbury was not yet the spiritual center that it has now become. To find an old world Jew, who lived faithfully according to the Torah and traditions of his ancestors was remarkable to us. Rabbi Shuster, for the next several years gave mussar shmoozen in Yeshiva, made a siyum every year on erev pesach, and met with government officials with whom he was very connected, in order to help the Yeshiva and Jewish community in any possible way. But, although most of us did not know it then, there was a hidden greatness in Rabbi Schuster as well. Behind his kind grandfatherly eyes, and warm exterior was a deep and great man, built from years of suffering and struggle.

Rabbi Schuster’s father, Rabbi Mayer Schuster, spent his early years as a teacher in the German city of Ichenhausen, and learnt under the dayan, Rav Avraham Yehoshua Goldberg, the author of the sforim Mkor Habrachos on Meseches Brachos, and Kisvei Paz, on a variety of Torah Subjects. Rav Goldberg was close talmid of the Alter of Kelm, Rav Simcha Zissel (Ziv) Boride to whom he was also related, and imparted his teachings to his talmidim. After some years, the dayan chose this star talmid of his to marry his sixth daughter, Rivka. Avraham Yehoshua Schuster, who would be known as Harold, was born on August 15th of 1921, just one month after his saintly grandfather passed away, and was given his name. Two years later, his sister Felice (who went on to write her memoirs in a book entitled Beacon of Light, Targum) was born. His sister remember him as a good natures lad, who let he have any of his toys that she wanted. When the children were young, the family moved to Ellingen Germany, in Bavaria, where Rabbi Schuster took up the position of Rabbi, teacher, baal koreh, and shochet for Ellingen and the surrounding areas.

The anti-Semitism came to the smaller German towns last. The families were friendly, and the Jews were known by their neighbors. Rabbi Schuster’s sister recalls an incident that occurred before Hitler was elected. In a conversation with a Gentile girl, she asked her what she thought would happen were Hitler elected. She replied, “Hitler will kill all the Jews.” But then one child pointed to her and asked, “What’s going to happen to her?” “Nothing,” said an older child, “Why not?” “Because we know her.” Little Harold remembered brought their German mailman a package of Matzah as a present as they did every year, for he normally gladly accepted it! But in 1934, he turned pale when he answered the door, and said that he could not accept it. He told the boy that the matzah contained the blood of Christian children, and he knew this to be true for he read in the newspaper Der Sturmer. Rabbi Schuster was then barely Bar Mitvah and tried his hardest to persuade the mailman to take the gift, but it was fruitless. The tide was changing quickly.

Already in 1935, when many still did not grasp the horrific danger that faced the Jewish people, Rabbi Schuster was urging his congregants to flee Germany. Due to his influence, all but one family managed to escape Germany.

They left Germany via Switzerland as a family, and crossed the alps into Italy. They then boarded a ship, the Gerusalemme, that led them to Haifa. The Broide family, to whom they were related lived in Musrara Jerualem (the small neighborhood between Mea Shearim and the Kotel) and took them in. Life was not easy in Jerusalem in those times – there was tremendous poverty, and it was all that they could do to manage to eat every day.

Rabbi Meyer spent his time trying to arrange visas, and do everything and anything possible to save his brethren, but it became clear that the place that he could be of most help was not Israel. This led him to Havana, Cuba, where he stayed in the home of a Cuban Jewish Businessman, who was well connected, and knew which officials could be bribed, and for what sum. He managed to bring thousands of Jews to Cuba, saving their lives.

The family could not remain apart any longer, and they began a trek to rejoin their Father. They went from Israel to France, and the plan was to go from there to New York, and then Cuba. But the ship out of France was delayed a bit, and the wail or air raid sirens and impending disaster made the need to get out of France immediate. They managed to draw an alternate route, which would take them through the Caribbean Islands, on a much smaller ship. The ship was full of Jews and Spaniard who were fleeing the Spanish Civil war, and who were simply happy to be alive. Kosher food was scarce, but there were no complaints. On one stop in Haiti, they disembarked for a short while to try to purchase some fruit and vegetables. There, they met a Jewish business owner who explained that he was one of six Jewish families in the entire Island of Haiti. He took them home and gave them a delicious meal, and warm reception. Everywhere they went they saw a remarkable degree of siyata dishmaya.

They arrived in Cuba, met up with their father, and watched the world that they once knew crumble and disintegrate; doing everything they possibly could to save a precious few.

Rabbi Mayer Schuster, went on to write a sefer which bore the haskomos of Rav Moshe Feinstein z”l, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe z”l. His son, Rabbi Harold Schuster lived his life completely dedicated to his community, and the Yeshiva that it eventually built. As Erev Pesach approaches, and the siyum of the firstborn takes place in Waterbury, there will not be dry eye, as people recall the man who made that siyum every year in his unassuming and yet great manner.


First Published in Yated Neeman, Connecting with Waterbury Page, May 2008

Pesach in a land of Jewish Blood

Several years ago, Moshe Mernick of Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel in Waterbury was in Berlin Germany for a Zman as part of a mentorship program that the two Yeshivos have. Yeshivas Beis Zion of Berlin, is a remarkable Yeshiva for Russian Baalei Tshuva in Germany. Germany offers remarkable opportunities for Jewish members of the former Soviet Union. They are offered EU citizenship as well as a slew of benefits should they choose to relocate to Germany. And many Jewish families, who have practically no real knowledge of Torah have chosen to move. The Soviet Union was not a place where Jewish identity or practice thrived, quite the opposite. As a result many of these young men, who are given the opportunity of good education and gainful employment only as a result of the fact that they are Jewish grow quite perplexed as to why. So they look into Torah. The Lauder Yeshurun Foundation has taken upon themselves the giant task of being there for this segment of Hashem’s people who are otherwise on their own. Their base of operations for Germany is Berlin, where they have the successful Yeshiva and Kollel “Beis Zion.” But their influence is felt across Germany. There are frum families living and doing kiruv in Hamburg, and there are Shabbatons and seminars all across Germany.

Moshe Mernick has a big heart, and is a phenomenal speaker. He was incredibly effective in his short time in Berlin in reaching the hearts of the students learning there. Rather than return to America to continue his learning there, he was prevailed upon by Rabbi Spinner of Lauder Yeshurun to move to Hamburg and do kiruv. He went to places where there have been no frum people since Hitler’s men were there. He brought Torah into hearts that had never felt anything Jewish. After spending one year there, he reluctantly, and against the wishes of Lauder Yeshurun returned home to North America.

This Pesach, of his first year back home, he returned along with Eli Zians of Shor Yoshuv to run the sdorim in Hamburg, Germany. Tamar Warburg who spent last semester at a Law School in Hamburg while working as a Madricha for the Lauder girls seminary, also came to work with the girls. Approximately 15 not yet religious Jewish students slept over in Hamburg Germany for the three day Yom Tov! Torah classes and programming were offered by the staff provided by Lauder Yeshrun throughout the Yom Tov. 45 students participated in the Carlebach-style Kabbalas Shabbos and Friday night program. 60 students attended the first Seder, including 6 Israeli soldiers from the submarine unit who were in northern Germany being trained by the German army for a week. They showed up in the Shul for Minchah on Shabbos looking for a Seder!
The First Seder went on until 4 am strong. It was a room full of people with no background in Torah and Hashkafa learning for the first time about what it means to be a Torah Jew. During Maggid, they went around the room and had each student read a small portion of the Haggadah in a language that they felt most comfortable with (i.e. German, Russian, Hebrew, English, etc.) and we were treated to a special rendition of the Mah Nishtanah in Chinese. Students were encouraged to ask questions as we were awarding each question with “American” (!) treats. The two Americans, Moshe and Eli, sang grammen in Russian, relating the theme of Pesach in a very interactive and entertaining way. There was a puppet show performance for the ten makkos. Student who attended said that the highlight of the seder was the 3:30 am singing of “Who Knows One?”
For many, this was the first Pesach they have ever celebrated. And they loved it! They connected in a very personal way. Throughout the night, the staff stressed two of the lesser known Mitzvos of Pesach. The obligation upon each Jew to feel as though they were personally being redeemed from slavery in Egypt, and V’Somachta B’Chagecha, the only Mitzvah that applies to every single moment of Pesach – Happiness.
For the second Seder, the students joined the Hamburg Jewish community, where there were 175 people in total. Although the Rabbi was leading the Seder, the Lauder group infused the hall with youthful energy and spirit. After a nice introduction by the Rabbi of the community, one 18 year old student from Hamburg who has been attending Shabbatons and classes over the last year and half, delivered the following powerful and inspirational speech, “This Pesach is my first proper Pesach celebration and I'm very happy to be here with you all.But before coming here I had a few conflicts to manage. Isn't it ordinary in a Jewish family? My uncle from Moscow is here for two days and I'm not able to see him because I want to have a Seder meal and a proper Yom Tov. But this is much more difficult than it sounds. I mean, how can I leave my family for something I don't know, for something unknown? Who tells me that this Pesach celebration is worth all the arguments with my parents?So I guess the Israelites had to decide between Slavery in Egypt and the desert. On the one hand the bad thing is well known and they were used to it. On the other hand they saw the desert which looks dangerous but promises freedom. Who promises? G-d does. But how can you trust him after all the suffering in Egypt? The Israelites did. And they got the Torah as the reward. I don't say that I've suffered as much as our forefathers did. But for me this question, if to go or not, was also the most existential question I have ever faced… But I took the risk. I trusted G'd and went to Lauder for spending Pesach. And I really don't regret it because I got the chance to spend it with you all.This is my first Pesach celebration. And I thank you for making it such a wonderful one!This student wants to spend the summer studying in Israel. This is indicative of what Avodas Hashem does for a person's life.
As Moshe said, “This students speech also totally drove home the point of how much of an impact we are able to make on another Jewish Neshomah. Regardless of the color of the passport that one holds, if one’s mother is Jewish, than they are just as Jewish as you and I, and they are just as thirsty to learn Torah and spend a genuine Shabbos like you and me. “

Moshe continued, “From the bottom of my heart, I thank the Yeshiva Gedolah of Waterbury, and in particular Rabbi Kaufman, for providing me with the unique opportunity of teaching Torah in Germany. When the Possuk tells us, “V’Ohavta LeRaiacha Kamocha,” Hashem is not only commanding us to love our Jewish brethren in Toronto, New York, Waterbury, and Eretz Yisroel. Rather, He wants us to feel genuine responsibility toward all of His children. It’s not our place to judge these students’ parents who decided to relocate from the former Soviet Union to Germany, a country that is soaked with our grandparents’ blood. Though it is our place to ensure that these young men and women are being offered the same Jewish education we too often take for granted; it is our place to applaud Waterbury and Lauder Yeshurun for the extraordinary work that they both continue to do.”

Waterbury Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Aaron Kaufman, in Israel

The Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Aharon Kaufman rushed off of his airplane and collected his baggage. Rather than heading to a warm shower and comfortable bed to recover from his long flight, as most other passengers likely did; he headed directly to Yeshivas Torah Ore where he was scheduled to speak. Torah Ore, headed by Rav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg Shlit”a is located on busy Sorortzkin Street in the Mattersdorf neighborhood of Yerushalyim, and Rabbi Kaufman is from Waterbury Connecticut, far away. The Rosh Yeshiva had gone to Israel, for a very short stay, where he met with his old bochurim, interviewed some prospective ones, and spoke in more Yeshiva’s in those few days than most of us have ever been in over the course of one lifetime!

After leaving Yeshivas Torah Ore, he went directly on to his next destination – Yeshivas Yagdil Torah. While there he mesmerized the beis midrash with a masterful shiur klali revolving around a complex sugya in meseches kiddushin. That was Tuesday, one of the calmer days of the trip.

On Wednesday morning, Rabbi Kaufman davened shachris and ate breakfast at Yeshivas Or Yerushalyim (often affectionate referred to by it’s bochurim as OJ) and then he spoke to the entire Yeshiva, where he was once again well received. He went directly from there to Bayit Vegan where he addressed Yeshivas Tiferes Yerushalyim (“TJ”) and gave a shiur klali on Gittin daf hey. Later that day, he spoke in Yeshivas Or David (OD), and at night he closed his day with a visit and speech to Yeshivas Mikdash Melech. In some places he spoke in the sugyas that the yeshiva was learning, and in other Yeshivas, he spoke of mussar and hashkofa. There were equally brilliant and well liked, according to the reports of those in attendance.

Thurday morning, Rabbi Kaufman was to be found in Shaare Chesed, where he spoke in Yeshivas Midrash Shmuel of Rabbi Binyomin Moskovitz Shlit”a. He then headed to Ateres Yerushalyim in Ramot, (AJ) where he spoke once again.

On Firday night, at a lavish oneg shabbos hosted by one of his beloved former talmidim, who now learns in kollel, and gives Waterbury all the credit for his lifestyle choice, Rabbi Kaufman greeted many former talmidim, single and married, who made it clear to him that there is no such thing as a “former talmid.” Once a child – always a child. Rabbi Kaufman spoke to hearts of those assembled. He asked, “Why is it that in the 13 middos of Rachamim, we are told that Hashem forgives, “Pesha, and Chatah,” Which means, “willful sins, and even unintentional ones.” Certainly once we have said that Hashem forgives the intentional ones, we can know that he overlooks the unintentional!? Rabbi Kaufman explained that in some ways, unintentional sins are even worse than those that are intentional, based upon the Maharal. He taught that the essence of a person cannot be defined by every action that he makes. After all, when a person does a sin, - a willful one - as a result of the yetzer hara, it may be no more than a reflection of his level of self control, and have nothing to do with his essence. But when a person sins just as a matter of course, unintentionally without the impetus of his yetzer harah, there is some sort of indication that at the root of things, his essence may be somewhat connected to that sin. (After all, when one kills unintentionally we see it as a display if his essence, and so with any sin bishogeg.) Thus the Torah teaches us that in some way, an unintentional sin is worse than even one done deliberately! The oneg shabbos lasted past midnight, and was filled with Torah, singing, laughter, and true greatness.

On Motzai Shabbos, Rabbi Heshy Kahan of Ramat Eshkol, a former Waterbury talmid turned Posek hosted a gala malava malka where Rabbi Kaufman met with bochurim who would like to come to Waterbury for the first time, and join the chabura of bochurim who return from Eretz Yisrael to learn by Hagaon Rav Yitzchak Meir Fishman Shlit”a, and Rabbi’s Braunstein and Sonnenchein. Many bochurim attended, and many top bochurim will be coming to Waterbury after Pesach.

On Sunday, Rabbi Kaufman spoke in Yeshivat Reishit, and Netiv Aryeh in the Yerushalyim’s old city. On Monday, he spoke in Rabbi Center’s Yeshiva, in Kesher, and in Shalavim, and that night he flew home.

Over the course of the trip, he was seen in Yeshivas Beis Yisrael speaking with bochurim, and in the Mir, in long conversations with maggidei shiur, including Rav Nissin Kaplan, Rabbi Wagshal, and Rabbi Resnick.

The trip was a dazzling display of greatness – it was a change for those in Eretz Yisrael to have a glimpse of what those in Waterbury are privileged enough to witness up close, all year long.


Published in The Connecting with Waterbury page of Yated Neeman, March 2008

Quiet Greatness - Rabbi Moshe Don Kestenbaum

Rabbi Moshe Don Kestenbaum is an unusual man. This tall dark-haired 11th grade Rebbe with a warm smile is beloved by so many. His daf yomi shiurim are applauded for their brilliance. This once (and likely still) talented left-handed basketball player has made his mark on the Jewish people at a young age, in an area far from that of athletics. As a bochur, he was known for hasmoda. That was his mark on the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway, and the Mir. Friends of his who learnt beside him in the Mir describe Rabbi Kestenbaum showering and dressing for shabbos at 12 pm, and then heading for the beis midrash until shabbos, on long summer Fridays.

Coming from the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway, he was educated by one of today’s mussar giants, Rabbi Yechiel Perr Shlita. Rabbi Perr is the quintessential baal mussar, a kind thoughtful talmid chocham who can take the most complicated of human situations and dissect them through the Torah’s lens. When he first came to Waterbury, he gave shiurim and mussar vaadim to the Beis Midrash bochurim – extremely popular ones. His mussar was laced with quotes and stories from Rabbi Perr. He himself came up with many methods of personal growth based upon the wisdom found in s’forim. He laughingly would describe to those in his chabura what it feels like as a bochur to buy a bag of potato chips from the snack machine in yeshiva. “You buy a bag for 75 cents, and you open it to find that it is mostly air, and only three chips! Then a friend of yours comes by and says, he can I have some?” Since this is likely to bother you, explained Rabbi Kestenbaum, you of course should never ask someone else to give you their chips! “Buy two bags,” taught Rabbi Kestenbaum to his students. “Then you will have one to give away and one for yourself!” Indeed he lives his own life this way, and has thus developed into a magnanimous and truly giving person. Anyone who has seen him don his colorful “wedding yarmulkeh,” and proceed to dance before a chosson with abandon, has truly witnessed what he is willing to sacrifice of himself for the pleasure of his fellow Jew.

Built likely from years of mussar vaadim, and even more years of personal mussar study and development, Rabbi Kestenbaum embarked on a daring initiative – he began writing his own mussar sefer. Those who know Rabbi Kestenbaum are aware that, more so than most of his companions, he is known for his very real mastery of Shas – having finished many mesechtos with Rishonim and Acharonim many times over. This makes his choice to publish on mussar all that more surprising. A look at his introduction tells us why he made this choice. In his words, “There are many mussar sforim by giants in Torah and Yirah, who am I to count myself amongst them? However, it appears to me that there is yet a great need for a contemporary sefer that speaks to a person of our times….”

He called his sefer Olam Hamidos, (the intitals M.D. of his first name ‘Moshe Don’ are alluded to in the first two letters of Middos) for it is a work that sets out to “delineate the obligation of ‘middos’ and offer effective advice to develop them.” It bears the haskomos of Rabbi Aharon Kaufman shlit”a, the Rosh Yeshiva of Ateres Shmuel of Waterbury, Rabi Yechiel Perr shlit”a, the Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway, and Harav Nosson Tzvi Finkel shlit”a, the Rosh Yeshiva of Mir Yerushalyim. Rav Finkel, in his haskoma makes a remarkable statement about the author, when he says, “from between the lines of the sefer, it is evident that the author is a veritable storehouse of Yiras Shomayim.” A school-child might say, “it takes one to know one,” and in this instance, such praise could not come from a more remarkable source.

Olam Hamiddos, the World of Middos, is made up of 8 “worlds,” all dealt with in individual chapters. The first is the “world of middos” which explains the purpose of middos development; then is the “world of truth,” “the world of kovod” (honor), “the world of jealousy,” “the world of anger,” “the world of happiness,” “the world of strength,” and “the world of kindness.” Within the sefer there are so many remarkable though provoking messages that it is daunting to attempt to take a sample, but we shall nevertheless try.

Rabbi Kestenbaum tells of a mystifying quote, attributed to Rav Chaim Vital, the great student of the Arizal; “the character of a person is judged solely based upon how he behaves toward his wife.” Isn’t this unusual, asked Rabbi Kestenbaum, for a man is far more than a spouse! He has dealings with so many people in so many situations! Why are his middos judged by this one dynamic? He speaks of how man desires so deeply to find favor in the eyes of others, that subconsciously he does whatever he can to curry their favor. But that does not exist when one is married. The same kovod is not forthcoming from those with whom we live as from other whom we may impress with a mere glimpse. On a deeper level, he continues, the love and closeness of proximity that marriage demands make it difficult to hide even a hint of anger or dissatisfaction. This is not so with even the closest friend. It thus emerges that the true mettle of a person is only really displayed in his marriage. Whether or not he really is filled with hate and anger or love and compassion is truly something that only his wife can know. This, explained the Olam Hamidos is what Rav Chaim Vital was telling us.

Throughout the course of his sefer, Rabbi Kestenbaum offers both conceptual and theoretical advice in a sincere and down to earth fashion. Quoting from great sforim and Rabbonim, such as Mesilas Yesharim (on p. 184) Rav Yisrael Salanter z”l (p. 26) Yitzchok Hutner z”l (on p. 8) and Rabbi Aaron Wilk shlit”a (p. 25), he weaves a tapestry that is certain to make the reader both a better person and a better Jew. Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel of Waterbury is truly blessed to have Rabbi Kestenbaum in it’s walls.


Published in Yated Neeman Waterbury Page March 2008

The Overpopulation Crisis

Based upon a Shiur given by Rabbi David Lapin


For the most part, Torah observant Jews proudly boast large families. Are they destroying the world as we know it?

Thomas Robert Malthus was the second of eight children. It was a large family, and he apparently resented it. His theories are known as Malthusian ideology. This doctrine sees all major social problems - poverty, hunger, political instability, and environmental destruction - as due to population growth, and posits that population control thus represents a key solution. "In October 1838, that is, fifteen months after I had begun my systematic inquiry, I happened to read for amusement Malthus on Population…” wrote Charles Darwin in his biography, where he proceeded to describe the great influence that Malthus had on his thinking - particularly on his theory of natural selection. In 1978 a book called “The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History,” placed Malthus at number 80 in this worldwide ranking. Was Thomas Malthus right or wrong? Will large families lead to the world’s demise?

During the reign of King David (Samuel II 24) a devastating mistake was made. David decided to count the Jewish people, and did so in no special way. Halacha tells us that it is permissible to count the number of raised hands in a room, but not the people themselves. (Talmud Yoma 22b, Magen Avraham 156) We cannot count people. But David did. And the Jews were hit with a death wave in which 70,000 (!) men died from one end of the nation to the other. Our sages tell us (Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer 43) that in fact only one person died. His name was Avishai Ben Tzeruyah, and though he was only one man, he was worth 70,000. It sounds a bit unusual to refer to one person as 70,000; what is the message – and why does Scripture choose to teach us the value of this man especially now?

The Torah tells us that if the Jewish people are counted in an ordinary fashion, it will cause a plague. G-d therefore directs Moses to count the Jews in an unusual way wherein each person gives a coin. The coins will then be counted, and the census with thus be accomplished without pestilence. Why does this solve the problem? And what was the problem to begin with?

It is forbidden to count Jews. The reason is really quite simple; you have no idea what anyone else is worth. One person may be worth far more than another. To count people as equally valuable is simply incorrect. David made that mistake – but he learned his lesson when he lost one man who was worth 70,000. How beautifully does G-d make every punishment fit the offense! We count people based upon what they have contributed to society. That is really what life is about. “He who detests gifts is truly alive,” stated Solomon the great King David’s son. We can count everyone only if they give something – for a gift can be quantified. When Moses counted his people, each one gave something of himself, and that was counted. Thus, nobody had to be taken away.

Avishai’s passing is referred to as “70,000 from one end of the nation to another!” (In Hebrew, “Dan to Beersheba.”) Now that we know that it was one man and he certainly lived in only one city at a time, how are we to understand this statement? The message is the same. God took one man, whose positive influence affected the length and breath of his nation, and taught us a lesson for posterity. One man can span a nation, from Dan to Beersheba. (Biur Radal ibid)

Overpopulation is dangerous in a society of takers. When people consume more than they produce, each new person is just another liability. But when people are innovative, and givers, when people produce more than they consume - the more the merrier! The Torah’s focus is always the obligation, rather than the right. An obligation to tithe is stressed, rather than the Levites right to receive it. Our aim must be to produce a society of givers, and builders. We must fulfill the Torah’s commandment to be fruitful and multiply. After all, it is only when we are fruitful, that our multiplying and overpopulation can truly have any meaning.

Seeing God... on Moshe's Birthday!

“When the lots that Haman had cast landed on the month of Adar, he rejoiced and said, ‘my lots fell on the month in which Moshe died.’ But Haman did not know that while Moshe died on the seventh of Adar, he was also born on the seventh of Adar.” (Megilla 13b)

While it is clear that Haman did not know that Moshe was born on the seventh of Adar, it is evident from the beginning of the gemara that he did know the date of his death. The gemara’s statement that he “did not know that Moshe died on the seventh of Adar, and was born on the seventh of Adar” implies that there was something that he did not know about the death of Moshe as well.

It also behooves us to discover why it was that a man who was so obsessed with the Jewish people, and so knowledgeable of their ways missed the birth date of Moshe, and only knew the day of his death. Midrashim are replete with accounts of Haman quoting verses from the Torah. Like most of our enemies, he knew much about our Torah, and nevertheless combated it viciously. So why then did he never learn of the birth of Moshe?

Rav Tzadok Hakohen of Lublin (Divrei Chalomos 20) writes that “the day that a man is born is when his mazel is at its most powerful point. On that day, every year, he need no fear that any misfortune will befall him. When our sages taught us that the righteous die on their birthdays – that is because for those so righteous, death is an elevation of their mazel, and the next step in their spiritual climb.”

“Ki lo yirani ha’adam v’chai,” is normally translated as “no man can see me and survive.” But Abudraham (Mussaf Shabbos - Kedusha) offers an alternative translation. “’Neither can man see me, nor can the Chai,’ referring to the Angels” But our sages have taught us that while no man can see G-d in his lifetime, he sees him in his death! (Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer 31) In fact, the Chida (D’vash L’fi Mem 24) offers a number of reason that the righteous must die – and his fifth reason is “Ki lo yirani ha’adam v’chai!” At a righteous human’s death, he reaches a higher level of appreciation of G-d than even the highest angel can ever reach!

Thus, Haman did not know that not only did Moshe die on the seventh of Adar, but that death was really a birth as well, just as was his first birth. He may have even known the dry information about the day that Moshe was born from an entry in the Encycolpedia Persian-ica. But Haman did not truly understand the Jewish purpose in this world – why Moshe was really born. He therefore could not truly understand why Moshe died, and how that death was a birth to another world. He did not know that Moshe’s death was just another rung in a ladder that begins here on earth, and reaches into the heavens.

(It was only some time after this suggestion was written that the author found this very pshat in this gemara in the sefer Chomas Anach on Koheles 3:2. The Chida there quotes his fathers Rav, R. Avraham Itzchaki, who offers a remarkably similar pshat.)

Published in The Jerusalem Life Adar II 2008

Dav Dalin forces Arab professor to resign

Sapir College’s film professor, Nizar Hassan is a famous documentary film-maker. This “celebrity” must apologize by Thursday to Israeli Army reservist Eyal Cohen, for refusing to allow him to be part of his class while he was in uniform. A day before the deadline, two groups took to the Sderot campus to debate and protest.
In early November, Eyal Cohen, a second-year film student, came directly from his Military Intelligence reserve duty to his film class, given by Nizar Hassan. He was wearing his uniform and as a result Hassan refused to teach him. When he would not leave the room, Hassan ignored him entirely and would not allow him to speak. Hassan also reportedly kept interjecting the phrase "Yes, sir" in reference to Cohen and refused to allow him to respond until he came back to class in civilian clothing. Students referred to Hassan’s demeanor as “childish and vindictive.”
A committee organized by the College President Ze'ev Tzahor looked into the incident. They decided that Hassan had one week to write an unequivocal apology to Cohen making it clear that he respected the IDF uniform, and stating that he would teach anyone wearing one. He was told that should he fail to do so, he would be fired. Until he did so, he could not teach at the college. If he did apologize, but then acted in a similar manner in the future, he would also be fired, the panel decided.
Etti Livni, Hassan's lawyer, told the committee, "Hassan acted with good intentions, as someone who just wants to see human beings in his class - not soldiers, not Jews, not Arabs - and he did not mean to humiliate anyone. Just seeing a uniform is enough to frighten and intimidate him. They represent violence for him. He reacted to the student appearing in uniform out of fear.” Nizar claimed he thought the student was armed.
The panel rejected Livni and Hassan's claims. They said that they suspected his motives to be purely nationalistic. The report harshly criticized Hassan for failing to uphold academic values, despite his reputation as a devoted teacher.
"We do not think 'artistic freedom' justifies a lenient posture toward those who cross all red lines," the committee wrote.
Shai Dashevsky, a fellow student of Cohen's in the film department, was one of the organizers of the protest in support of academic freedom. "We protested in support of free speech. We did not rally to support Professor Hassan. We didn't even mention his name once," Dashevsky told reporters by phone Wednesday evening. Almost 20 people from across the political spectrum showed up, Dashevsky said, and professors also stopped by in between classes.
"It was a humiliating letter [from the committee] to Nizar," Dashevsky said, "We want to be able to make up our own minds without dictates from outside." "Professors are scared now," they worry that what they say might get them fired, Dashevsky continued. He said that he believed that Eyal Cohen had in fact been humiliated by Hassan, and that he should receive an apology for the personal affront, but that there should be open debate on campus as well.
Dov Dalin is a kind and brilliant third-year student of Business Logistics. His vibrant personality and passion for his beliefs are noticeable immediately. He told The Jerusalem Life of how he organized a counter-protest, with participants coming from the Left and Right. Even far-right activist Itamar Ben-Gvir put in an appearance. Dalin told the Jerusalem Life in an exlcusive interview that he put together the protest to call for Hassan's unequivocal dismissal.
"I think that [the committee's decision] was the wrong response. They should have told Hassan: 'No, you can't teach here anymore," Dalin, who made aliya from Venice California in 1998, said Wednesday evening.
"As a reserve soldier myself, it is not a good message to send to the country that we tolerate someone like him. He attacked something we hold near and dear - the army," Dalin said. Dalin also indicated that the counter-protest was aimed to reverse the image of Sapir College as a hotbed of radical leftists who "even wanted to invite Tali Fahima to come speak." (Tali Fahima served two years in prison for sharing classified information with the head of Fatah's Aksa Martyrs Brigades in Jenin.) Those at the rally do not represent the majority of students, he said. The college's Student Union said in a statement: "We view severely any insult to a student and will not allow discrimination of whatever kind within the college. We view Nizar Hassan's behavior as insulting.
Professor Hassan has hopefully learned his lesson, but not without a price. His failure to issue an apology has lost him his job. Dalin was interviewed on National Television and Radio in a relatively successful attempt to discredit Hassan. He artfully debated Hassan’s lawyer in an impressive display of cunning and sharp rejoinders. The story appeared in Maariv, The Jerusalem Post, and most major every media outlet in Israel. It is certainly not the first time that a venomous man has hurt a good Jew for being faithful to his country – but it may be the last time for this professor; assuming that he wishes to keep his next job.

Published in The Jerusalem Life Adar II 2008

Rabbi Noach Weinberg - hundreds of thousands brought back?

As I passed the bima (table) in the center of the Aish Hatorah beis midrash this Wednesday, I noticed an amazingly thick book. But when I saw the title, I could not believe my eyes. It read, "Names of some of the people who have been impacted by the Rosh Yeshiva Harav Noach Weinberg to become religious or more religious: as a zechus list for his refua shleima." THe Rosh Yeshiva is currently undergoing intense chemotherapy. Aish asked on February 18th that people give thier name to this list. Within three days, 64,424 were in a fat spiral-bound booklet, and I was looking at it.
In my opinion, that booklet alone can isnpire another 64,424 people.
May hashem grant Moreinu HaRav Yisrael Noach ben Hinda Shlita a refua shleima bkarov!

A Child Ails, A Nation Heals

Little Eytan Feiner wanted nothing more than to grow up to be starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. But when he was sidelined as a child and was no longer the starting point guard for his basketball team, he discovered that the field of athletics was not where his contribution to society would lie. So he realized that litigation would be his forte. He dreamt of pulling up to courthouses in a shiny black BMW and debating Dershowitz and the greats. But after some time in Israel learning, he had what he calls an epiphany. “We don’t not live for ourselves – that is not the reason that we are here,” he says, only far more eloquently. The great talents that Hashem endowed him were evident. It was then and there that he dedicated those talents to Hashem and the Jewish people. He worked hard and headed on the path to Rabbonus and spreading Torah.

Rabbi Eytan Feiner has the most phenomenal memory and breadth of knowledge that most people will ever encounter. He can quote at will (citing exact page numbers) from many thousands of obscure Torah sources. That nature of his awesome kindness and generosity is well known. I can honestly say that he is one of the kindest people that I have had the privilege of knowing. This usually gifted and sweet man went on to marry the girl of his dreams. “You see,” explains Rabbi Feiner, “we all plan out our lives. We expect to wed the girl of our dreams, have money, and children, and happiness. We do not ever think that things will not go our way.” Rabbi Feiner was married, and although to this day, none of the many doctors can offer even a suggestion as to why it was so, he and his wife did not conceive a child for many years. “Hashem,” he would say, “I want to serve you and teach, but I need simchas hachayim. Please let me have a family.” We all do this often, explains Rabbi Feiner, “Hashem give me money, so that I can give charity.” “Give me this so that I can accomplish that.” At times, life felt so difficult that the great Eytan Feiner, who had already developed quite a reputation in yeshiva (“You don’t batel around Feiner” people would say) considered abandoning his learning and going to Columbia Law School, rather than continuing his studies.

Suffering is by definition not easy. But it is always manageable says Rabbi Feiner. After twelve and a half years, his suffering was over! A beautiful baby boy was born to him on a Tuesday night. He speaks with such happiness of those few moments that he was given holding his new beautiful “tzaddikel” before he was whisked away. But it was not even one half hour later when he heard the most devastating news of his life. His son’s breathing was not alright. And soon, one system of his son’s would fail just on the heels of another. It was a nightmare! Something was wrong with the baby. Apparently, there is some amino acid deficiency in this little boy’s body. In all of recorded medical history there is not record of any human ever having had this condition! The doctors are humbled – they know nothing about it.

Someone entered and told Rabbi Feiner, “it is alright if you are mad at Hashem.” But Rabbi Feiner turned around, and said “We have never loved Hashem as much as right now. We are not angry at all. And we know that he loves us so much as well.”

This little boy has done something for klal yisrael that nothing in recent times has been able to. Prayer and study groups from Jerusalem to St. Louis to Los Angeles and around the world have been organized for Hatinok Ben Aviva Bas Chana. From one side of the spectrum to the other, Jews are uniting. From the most yeshivish of seminaries to the most modern; all were represented when on thousand girls came to Neve Yerushalayim to hear Mrs. Feiner speak. Emails are being sent, and Facebook groups are being started. We are all one people says Rabbi Feiner. This little child has had such a zchus in his short time in this world, to bring prayer and loshon hara awareness programs, and Talmud Torah into this long hard galus.

Rabbi Feiner stood in Aish Hatorah, where he is a Rebbe, little more than a week after his son was born, and spoke. He thanked Hashem for everything, and expressed his unfaltering love and appreciation for his Tatty in heaven. There was not a dry eye in the room. He spoke of how life is not about learning, charity, or prayer. Those are crucial ingredients, but ultimately, life is about being an Eved Hashem, a servant of G-d. “G-d, give me money to give charity with. Give me brains to study with.” When will be forget all of our plans and serve Him?! When will we stop asking for ourselves and begin to act as servants must?

The doctors have found a medication, and Rabbi Feiner is confident that his son will live until 120 with Hashem’s grace.
This great man, who stood among his students in Yeshivas Aish HaTorah, and inspired everyone present concluded with a startling statement. The baby’s delay of twelve and one half years is unexplainable. So is the disease. Rabbi Feiner’s grandfather had a dream that this baby will be Moshiach. So did a woman from Rabbi Feiner’s neighborhood. He may or may not be, said Rabbi Feiner, but he has certainly brought our people many steps closer to Moshiach’s arrival. The amount of prayer and study that he has inspired is beyond measure. But even more valuable, it seems, is the unity that he has engendered. This little adorable “munchkin of a tzaddikel” as Rabbi Feiner calls his son, has brought love and unification to the Jewish people. Please pray for Rabbi Feiner’s little son. Pray that he live a long productive life. Pray that the Jewish people know no more suffering and pain. Storm the heavens! This exile has been so long and so terribly difficult. We are all trying so hard, Hashem! Please look down at your beloved people, and usher them into a time that knows no more suffering and no more pain.