Seeing God... on Moshe's Birthday!

“When the lots that Haman had cast landed on the month of Adar, he rejoiced and said, ‘my lots fell on the month in which Moshe died.’ But Haman did not know that while Moshe died on the seventh of Adar, he was also born on the seventh of Adar.” (Megilla 13b)

While it is clear that Haman did not know that Moshe was born on the seventh of Adar, it is evident from the beginning of the gemara that he did know the date of his death. The gemara’s statement that he “did not know that Moshe died on the seventh of Adar, and was born on the seventh of Adar” implies that there was something that he did not know about the death of Moshe as well.

It also behooves us to discover why it was that a man who was so obsessed with the Jewish people, and so knowledgeable of their ways missed the birth date of Moshe, and only knew the day of his death. Midrashim are replete with accounts of Haman quoting verses from the Torah. Like most of our enemies, he knew much about our Torah, and nevertheless combated it viciously. So why then did he never learn of the birth of Moshe?

Rav Tzadok Hakohen of Lublin (Divrei Chalomos 20) writes that “the day that a man is born is when his mazel is at its most powerful point. On that day, every year, he need no fear that any misfortune will befall him. When our sages taught us that the righteous die on their birthdays – that is because for those so righteous, death is an elevation of their mazel, and the next step in their spiritual climb.”

“Ki lo yirani ha’adam v’chai,” is normally translated as “no man can see me and survive.” But Abudraham (Mussaf Shabbos - Kedusha) offers an alternative translation. “’Neither can man see me, nor can the Chai,’ referring to the Angels” But our sages have taught us that while no man can see G-d in his lifetime, he sees him in his death! (Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer 31) In fact, the Chida (D’vash L’fi Mem 24) offers a number of reason that the righteous must die – and his fifth reason is “Ki lo yirani ha’adam v’chai!” At a righteous human’s death, he reaches a higher level of appreciation of G-d than even the highest angel can ever reach!

Thus, Haman did not know that not only did Moshe die on the seventh of Adar, but that death was really a birth as well, just as was his first birth. He may have even known the dry information about the day that Moshe was born from an entry in the Encycolpedia Persian-ica. But Haman did not truly understand the Jewish purpose in this world – why Moshe was really born. He therefore could not truly understand why Moshe died, and how that death was a birth to another world. He did not know that Moshe’s death was just another rung in a ladder that begins here on earth, and reaches into the heavens.

(It was only some time after this suggestion was written that the author found this very pshat in this gemara in the sefer Chomas Anach on Koheles 3:2. The Chida there quotes his fathers Rav, R. Avraham Itzchaki, who offers a remarkably similar pshat.)

Published in The Jerusalem Life Adar II 2008

Dav Dalin forces Arab professor to resign

Sapir College’s film professor, Nizar Hassan is a famous documentary film-maker. This “celebrity” must apologize by Thursday to Israeli Army reservist Eyal Cohen, for refusing to allow him to be part of his class while he was in uniform. A day before the deadline, two groups took to the Sderot campus to debate and protest.
In early November, Eyal Cohen, a second-year film student, came directly from his Military Intelligence reserve duty to his film class, given by Nizar Hassan. He was wearing his uniform and as a result Hassan refused to teach him. When he would not leave the room, Hassan ignored him entirely and would not allow him to speak. Hassan also reportedly kept interjecting the phrase "Yes, sir" in reference to Cohen and refused to allow him to respond until he came back to class in civilian clothing. Students referred to Hassan’s demeanor as “childish and vindictive.”
A committee organized by the College President Ze'ev Tzahor looked into the incident. They decided that Hassan had one week to write an unequivocal apology to Cohen making it clear that he respected the IDF uniform, and stating that he would teach anyone wearing one. He was told that should he fail to do so, he would be fired. Until he did so, he could not teach at the college. If he did apologize, but then acted in a similar manner in the future, he would also be fired, the panel decided.
Etti Livni, Hassan's lawyer, told the committee, "Hassan acted with good intentions, as someone who just wants to see human beings in his class - not soldiers, not Jews, not Arabs - and he did not mean to humiliate anyone. Just seeing a uniform is enough to frighten and intimidate him. They represent violence for him. He reacted to the student appearing in uniform out of fear.” Nizar claimed he thought the student was armed.
The panel rejected Livni and Hassan's claims. They said that they suspected his motives to be purely nationalistic. The report harshly criticized Hassan for failing to uphold academic values, despite his reputation as a devoted teacher.
"We do not think 'artistic freedom' justifies a lenient posture toward those who cross all red lines," the committee wrote.
Shai Dashevsky, a fellow student of Cohen's in the film department, was one of the organizers of the protest in support of academic freedom. "We protested in support of free speech. We did not rally to support Professor Hassan. We didn't even mention his name once," Dashevsky told reporters by phone Wednesday evening. Almost 20 people from across the political spectrum showed up, Dashevsky said, and professors also stopped by in between classes.
"It was a humiliating letter [from the committee] to Nizar," Dashevsky said, "We want to be able to make up our own minds without dictates from outside." "Professors are scared now," they worry that what they say might get them fired, Dashevsky continued. He said that he believed that Eyal Cohen had in fact been humiliated by Hassan, and that he should receive an apology for the personal affront, but that there should be open debate on campus as well.
Dov Dalin is a kind and brilliant third-year student of Business Logistics. His vibrant personality and passion for his beliefs are noticeable immediately. He told The Jerusalem Life of how he organized a counter-protest, with participants coming from the Left and Right. Even far-right activist Itamar Ben-Gvir put in an appearance. Dalin told the Jerusalem Life in an exlcusive interview that he put together the protest to call for Hassan's unequivocal dismissal.
"I think that [the committee's decision] was the wrong response. They should have told Hassan: 'No, you can't teach here anymore," Dalin, who made aliya from Venice California in 1998, said Wednesday evening.
"As a reserve soldier myself, it is not a good message to send to the country that we tolerate someone like him. He attacked something we hold near and dear - the army," Dalin said. Dalin also indicated that the counter-protest was aimed to reverse the image of Sapir College as a hotbed of radical leftists who "even wanted to invite Tali Fahima to come speak." (Tali Fahima served two years in prison for sharing classified information with the head of Fatah's Aksa Martyrs Brigades in Jenin.) Those at the rally do not represent the majority of students, he said. The college's Student Union said in a statement: "We view severely any insult to a student and will not allow discrimination of whatever kind within the college. We view Nizar Hassan's behavior as insulting.
Professor Hassan has hopefully learned his lesson, but not without a price. His failure to issue an apology has lost him his job. Dalin was interviewed on National Television and Radio in a relatively successful attempt to discredit Hassan. He artfully debated Hassan’s lawyer in an impressive display of cunning and sharp rejoinders. The story appeared in Maariv, The Jerusalem Post, and most major every media outlet in Israel. It is certainly not the first time that a venomous man has hurt a good Jew for being faithful to his country – but it may be the last time for this professor; assuming that he wishes to keep his next job.

Published in The Jerusalem Life Adar II 2008

Why were Rabbinic Jews called Pharisees?

בענין למה נקראו חכמי ישראל פרושים כתב הרע"ב בחגיגה ב ,ז מפני שאוכלין חולין בטהרה ופרושים ממגע ע"ה. ובפירוש המשניות להרמב"ם פ"ג דסוטה שקראו חכמים לעצמם פרושים מפני שפורשין מבני אדם עם מידות מגונות, ובערוך ערך פרוש איתא "והתואר פרוש מי שהבדיל עצמו והרחיק עצמו מהליכות והנהגות בני האדם הן לטוב הן לרעה (תוספתא סוטה ספט"ו רבו  פרושים בישראל") ובסדר הדורות ג' אלפים ת"ס בשם פילון פ' שחלק מהם פרשו מנשותיהם ובניהם, [וע"ע מהרש"א קידושין עא. ד"ה נזיר בשם יוסיפון שהיה כת בזמן הבית שנקראו נזירים שהלכו להתבודדות כדי שלא לדבר בקלון בני אדם.] ובנצוצי אור לר' ראובן מרגליות (בריש ספרו) כתב מפני שתעודתם ותפקידם היה לפרש את התורה. וברמב"ן (ויקרא יט, ב) איתא דזה מלשון "פרושים תהיו."

A Madwoman and Mussar

Alan Morinis is Jewish by birth. From a secular family, he was pulled to explore Hinduism and Buddhism as a young man. But in the face of personal crisis, he turned to his Jewish heritage and happened upon the spiritual tradition called Mussar. He soon realized that he had discovered an insightful discipline for self-development, complete with contemplative and transformative practices designed to penetrate the deepest roots of the inner life.

Eventually reaching the limits of what he could learn on his own, he decided to seek out a Mussar teacher. This was not an easy task, since almost the entire world of the Mussar tradition had been swept away in the holocaust. In time, in Far Rockaway, Long Island, he found an accomplished master who stood in an unbroken line of transmission of the Mussar Tradition, Rabbi Yechiel Yitzchok Perr, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Derech Ayson, the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway. He has now been a practicing Orthodox Jew for close to eight years.

His book Climbing Jacobs Ladder, which Spirituality & Health voted book of the year, tells the inward story of his discovery of Mussar and the way it transformed his life. At times, it is almost a biography of Rabbi and Rebbitzen Perr. He has founded the Mussar institute (http://www.mussarinsitute.org/), which offers courses and programs for many kinds. He attended Oxford on a Rhodes scholarship, and has made his career as a producer of award-winning television and films. He still lives in Vancouver British Columbia with his wife and two daughters.

His newest book, Everyday Holiness (Boston, 2007) is a guide to practical growth in Mussar. Though there may be many others far more qualified and knowledgeable, Morinis quotes (Everyday Holiness p. 5) Rabbi Bachya ibn Pakuda whose Chovos Halevovos was published in the year 1070, where he writes:

“I knew many good ideas were rejected because of fear, that dread causes a lot of damage, and I recall the expression, “Be careful not to be too careful!” I realized that if everyone who ever resolved to do something good or to instruct others in the path of righteousness kept still until he himself could accomplish everything he set out to, that nothing would have been said since the days of the prophets.”


In Climbing Jacobs Ladder, (p. 177-8) he tells a story which in a deeper sense sums up the immense dedication that he has shown in his life’s journey. ‘Rabbi Perr told me a story one day that left even him shaking his head in astonishment at the capacity of the human heart to love and serve.

“When I was teaching at my father-in-laws yeshiva,” he said, “a man showed up one day unexpectedly. His wife had snapped, unfortunately. She was having a psychotic episode, and she was screaming like a banshee. With tremendous energies! Mad-person energies!
She was screaming without stop, without eating, without resting, without sleeping, around the clock. And she had to be restrained from jumping out the window, from attacking people. Can you imagine?

“Now this man didn’t want to hospitalize her because he was afraid of the stigma. And he knew there was a doctor in Flatbush who gave shock treatments in his office. He had arranged to see this doctor, but has to wait to take her there. There would be a series of treatments, and she would have to be kept not too far from Flatbush until the treatments took effect. So they wound up in my father-in-law’s apartment.

“Three or four of my students, who were in their twenties, and me too, we took turns guarding her so she wouldn’t harm herself or jump out the window. And the whole time she was spewing obscenities.

“This fellow had been taking the whole load on himself. He’d been up with her around the clock for about a week. He hadn’t changed his clothes, he hadn’t eaten, he couldn’t leave her alone. He was perspiring through his clothing which was stained and filthy. He was a clean-shaven person and he hadn’t shaved for a week. He was just a wreck.

“I said to him, ‘How long has this been going on?’ ‘About a week now,’ he answered. ‘But how can you take it?’ I asked. And you know what he answered me? He said, ‘what do you think marriage is? Just for the good times?’ Then after a moment he added, ‘And how does God “take” us? That is also a marriage!’ ”

Alan Morinis dreams that he will reach his brothers in the Jewish world and get them in touch with their souls. It is the depth and power of Mussar that he hopes will awaken their dormant spiritual fervor. After all, it was mussar lessons like this one that awakened his!

Published in The Jerusalem Life, Adar I 2008

Dear Daniella! A Fresh look at Shidduchim, dating, and etiquette

Dear Daniella,

I have been dating for three years now. I am a popular boy in Yeshiva, but i have never been out past a second date. I just cannot seem to become comfortable with any girl that I have gone out with. Is there anything that you can do to help me?

Reuven F. (Last initial has been changed to protect the privacy of Reuven S)

Dear Reuven F,

Let me start by telling you that your problem is not at all unique. My husband and I have been married 34 years and we are still only truly comfortable during and after a good game of Yahtzee. That’s just a little joke. Jokes are meant to ease tension and break down barriers. The finest public speakers will tell you to always begin with something lighthearted. The gemara even tells us to always begin teaching a shiur with a “milsa dibdichusa,” a joke. In your case however, a simple “knock-knock,” “lightbulb,”or “Rabbi, priest, and Islam guy,” will not do it. I do have a suggestion for you. Go to Toys R’ Us just before your next date and go straight to the Fisher Price aisle. They manufacture a little miniature steering wheel that children like to play with. My Aunt Arlene’s children are crazy about them. What a great toy! Place the toy steering wheel in the back seat (just behind the drivers seat.) After letting the girl in the car, go around as though you were getting into the drivers seat, but instead get into the back seat and take your place at the Fisher Price (or Tonka) wheel that you have purchased. Begin driving as normal. You will not be moving, but do not let that on. Begin shouting raucously at one point claiming that you have been cut off. Ask her if she’s ever been in this neighborhood before and why there are so many creepy people around. (You are still in front of her house.) She may be a bit stupefied after 5-10 minutes, and this is your cue to move on. Just get in the front seat and say “Pardon me I seem to have lost my mind for just a moment there,” and proceed as normal. If she does not laugh so hard that she ruins her makeup, she is a truly kind person – but she is laughing inside. Trust me – I write a shidduch column. And if for some reason it doesn’t work, hang on to this page – you can blame it on me and I’m certain that you will be given a second chance.

-Daniella

Dear Daniella,

I am dating a boy who is quite a talmid chacham from what I have heard. But when I asked him what mesechta he was learning he told me, “The Sears and Roebuck Catalog.” I am not certain how to read this. I really want to marry him, but I am truly concerned because when I asked him to tell me over something he has learnt recently, he actually began reciting the merits of Sansabelt Slacks. Help me! Is he being funny, or is he really not learning and simply gaining knowledge of sale prices soon to be outdated?!

In Need of Adbice
(in the email we received, it was spelled “adbice.” Though it is likely a typo, as b and v are neighbors on the keyboard, we chose not to change the spelling because we suspect that the email may have come from Mexico where advice is pronounced “adbice.”)

Dear In Need of Adbice,

I chose this email out of the many that we received due to its relevance to most daters! If you do not know whether or not he is joking, you should not yet “really want to marry him!” Wait and see, I’m sure that you will get a better feel for his sense of humor and serious side. When you know him better there will be no such questions. In a shidduch advice column in a competing publication, a very similar question was asked. The writer suggested that they get married ASAP, being that there is a shidduch crisis. I could not disagree more. In fact if you are not married because the only candidates knew more about the Sears catalog than their Yiddishkeit: that is no crisis! Keep on going, and don’t give up. Remember there’s no “I” in the word team. Just give %110 percent and Hashem will surely help you you’ll find your Prince Bashert in the right time.

-Daniella

Published in The Jerusalem Life Shvat 2008

We named her Amber - 'cause we liked the color!

There are few things that I find as upsetting as when people name their children meaningless names merely because they sound cute. Ashley or Amber, Brittany or Bruce. What are these names? Isn’t amber a color?

Naming a child after nothing at all is ridiculous. Just imagine a close friend who suddenly picked up and moved to Pittsburgh. You call him up and ask why he moved there, and he offers no reason other than, “I like cities that are spelled with a ‘gh’ in them, and I’ve always thought that the letter ‘P’ is a great one to start a word.” “Did you look into the school system, or think about your distance from family, or the weather, or the proximity to religious institutions and synagogues, or the prevalence of above average Chinese-style eating establishments?” you would then ask him? “Pooh-Pooh to that,” this very strange man would reply, “I already told you that I like the ‘gh’ and plus, on my map, Pennsylvania is orange. I like orange juice.” It is even more foolish to name a child something on a whim.

A child’s name is something very important. Our sages [Arizal quoted in Emunas Itecha p. 188] tell us that parents are enveloped in holiness and divinely prodded towards the right name, should they choose to listen. This name relates to the mission and very soul of the child. [See Chasam Sofer Parshas Korach where he asserts that the sins that Korach committed were as a result of his name!] Unfortunately many do not listen. To name a child after nothing meaningful is a travesty. To name a child Ilana, because “I like the sound,” is childish and immature. To name that very same name to remember a kind grand-mother or because of something that one finds inspiring about trees is an entirely different story. Those reasons are noble ones. But to names ones children names that all begin with the same letter for no reason other than “it’s just so cute” is outrageous! The name of the child can be something meaningful that he or she can relate to over the course of his or her lifetime. It can provide them meaning both in a rational way, and by defining their mission in this life in a spiritual way. To deprive a person of a name that carries meaning in exchange for “Chelsea” or “Tiffany,” is not a Jewish idea.

The great Bnei Yissaschar of Dinov writes [Nissan 4:10 Al Derech Hasod] that a person is drawn after his name. It is like a handle, for by attaching to it the larger object, the whole item will move. It is for this reason that we find Nebuchadnezzar giving secular names to Chananya, Mishael, and Azariah, [Daniel 1:7] calling them Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He hoped to influence them.

Man is complicated. He is not his heart – that can be transplanted. So can his liver and kidneys. His arms and legs can be removed and he is still a man. But his thoughts, accumulated memories, loves, and desires cannot be separated from him. They are the man. When we talk about a person and call him by his name, “Melvin,” we are not referring to his car, his home, his arms and legs, or his heart. We talk about the real him, the part of him that differentiated him from all other people. Ones name is the access path to his essence. Names are not simply borne of convenience. When we wish to refer to the real person, we use that person’s name. The name therefore is not simply a cute nickname or tag, as the name of a dog might be. To refer to ones child by a nickname that one finds very cute is an expression of love. But to name them that and thereby spiritually define their essence based upon immediate cuteness is a bit shallow.

A chasid entered the chambers of the saintly Chidushei HaRim upon the birth of his newborn son. “Rebbe, what name do you recommend that I give my child?” The Rebbe replied, “The Arizal has taught us that at the time that a father names his child, he is given ruach hakodesh (divine inspiration) so that he will choose the true name of that child that is being given to its soul from on high. The name that defines his root. Why should I spoil your opportunity to receive rauch hakodesh?” [Rav Moshe Wolfson, Emunas Itecha p. 188]

“If someone is great, he is called Rabbi. One greater than him is called Rabban. If he is even greater than that, he is then simply called by his own name.” [Tosefta Eduyos 3:4, see Sheloh Torah Shebaal Peh Klallei Yichusei Hachachomim] Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moshe, Shamaya Avtalyon, Yosi Ben Yoezer. There is nothing greater than being yourself. To truly be oneself is a far greater title than even Rabban! All of the striving of a person in this world is really nothing more than a quest to become oneself, and be true to ones own name.

Published in The Jerusalem Life Adar I 2008